Right I've been putting off this post for quite a while now. Infact I've been putting off a lot of things for a while now. I've had quite a hard time over the past few months, I won't delve into details because thats not the point of this, but I've been in a pretty bad place. Around 6 years ago, whilst I was at uni, I was diagnosed with depression, more than anything that was such a hard part of my life because it felt like such a terrible secret I was carrying around with me all of the time. You're constantly putting on a front with people and pretending everything is ok, when in your head everything is falling apart. Recently I've been in the same sort of place and thats a scary thought because I worked so hard at not letting my life be engulfed by it once and part of my though I just wasn't strong enough to do that again.
I've been trying to hold it together and feel like up until the past week I'd been doing a really good job at pretending to be ok. But I'm not and haven't been for a while. And you know what? Saying it out loud makes it just the little bit easier to deal with.
You don't always have to be ok. Somethings things get a a little bit too much, and thats natural. If you ever do feel like things are getting too much I urge you to go and talk to someone about it. I know its the last thing you want to do, it's the last thing I ever wanted to do, but I promise you it will help. As it goes it's true that a problem shared is a problem halved, not necessarily a problem solved but having someone to listen and get everything off your chest is a great thing.
I am strong enough to overcome this again, and if you every feel like that please know that you are too. Depression doesn't have a quick fix but finding the right support from people will get you there eventually. You are loved, and you are worth more than you give yourself credit for. Please know there are always people that care and will do everything in their power to help you.
XOXO
